In an open letter Jada Pinkett-Smith says married people tend to unconsciously kill each others pleasures while imposing suppressive demands...
A letter to a friend:
Your husband of a year wants to go on his annual bike trip with his friends, and you told him he can’t go and now it’s created a drama. Why do you trust him less now than in the five years prior when you were dating, and he would go on these trips? I will only say this...us married folk have a tendency to unconsciously find ways to kill the pleasure in our partnerships as well as the pleasurable qualities that made us fall in love with our partners in the first place. Our "marital" demands can be suppressive, destroying love and friendship while nurturing resentment. If he's given you some reason not to trust him talk about that, instead of hiding the real problem behind the guise of the trip itself. But remember, just because he wants to do something with his friends does not mean he is up to no good. I think it’s very important for couples to create an agreement on nurturing what’s important to the relationship, but I also think it’s just as important to support one another in nurturing what is needed individually.
A partnership should give us the room to be more of ourselves not less of ourselves.
My humble thoughts.
J
