Jada Pinkett-Smith regularly uses Facebook to express her beliefs and the latest topic was cheating...
Jada writes,
Should I stay with a mate after she or he has cheated on me?
(This is not referring to habitual cheaters. That is a different matter.)
This is a very personal choice, and there is no right or wrong answer. If your partner is remorseful and is willing to work it out, I would suggest trying to look at it from this vantage point. My observation has been that when most people cheat, they are trying to solve a problem. They are usually in some kind of emotional trouble or confusion that they believed the cheating would relieve. What's interesting is that most of the time the cheating has nothing to do with YOU. Now the question becomes, are you willing to put all ego aside and reach for some deep compassion to try to figure out what the trouble is, and, as partners, try to solve it? Know this, if someone has cheated on you who truly loves you, they have hurt themselves as much as they have hurt you. This makes for a great opportunity to deepen the relationship with thorough honesty, which creates deeper respect with some serious setting of boundaries. This is also when love gets real and true and illuminates what you are made of as a couple and as individuals. Situations like these could be the windows to a deeper commitment OR... to two separate paths on the way to look for new partners. Only the unique nature of your specific relationship can be the telling factor.
Is he or she worth it?
J
