Love and Hip Hop's Erica Mena releases an excerpt from her new book, 'Underneath it All...'
La linda manita Que tiene el bebe Que linda, que bellla que preciosa es
If it’s possible for a baby to have memories of being in utero then thats the first thing that comes to my mind. My mother used to sing that song to me while sitting in a prison cell. Yes you read that right, prison. She was shoved into a 6x8 cell with the very basic of necessities.
She was doing a three year bid for something that I believe any mother would have done if they were in the same situation. She was guilty of trying to provide for her children and her unborn child. She was guilty of having a “by any means necessary” mentality in the sense of doing whatever she could to make sure I came into this world not wanting for anything.
My mother has always been a go getter, a real hustler in my eyes. To me hustling isn’t something that you can teach, that person either has it or they don’t. Hustling is something as simple as bathing everyday. Either you want to do it or you don’t. You can’t make someone want to wash their own ass just like you can’t make someone want to hustle and better their lives.
See, as big as my father was in the drug game at that time he was very cheap. Yes, he would occasionally shower my mother with gifts and he made sure that she was well taken care of but at the same time he wasn’t really a good provider if that makes any sense. It’s along the lines of people saying any boy can be a daddy but it takes a man to be a father; make sense?
My father made my mother struggle more than she had to instead of helping her and giving her the things that she needed which ultimately led to her being sent away.
Anyway, my father’s nephew presented her with the opportunity to make some extra money if she would drop off a package at a specified location. She figured it sounded easy enough and even if she was hesitant, the only thing on her mind at the time was being able to provide me with a crib before I entered the world so she agreed. When she was exiting the apartment the police were going in to raid it and she was caught up in the mayhem that followed.
La linda manita Que tiene el bebe Que linda, que bellla que preciosa es
So here I was, cozy inside of her womb listening to her angelic voice sing me to sleep. As crazy as it may sound I wish I could’ve stayed there. I wish I could’ve stayed protected, stayed sheltered from the world and its harsh realities, stayed nestled in a place of unconditional love and warmth but that’s not how life works.
Life likes to wait until the bases are loaded and it seems like you’re going to go home only to turn around and throw a fast ball right at your head and knock you down. Seems like a weird analogy to use but I would soon find out how true it was and the significance it would have on my life...Erica Mena’s book ‘Underneath it All’ is available for pre-order on Amazon and in stores April 1rst 2013
