Celebrity Performance Review

Today's reviews brought to you by the Tales from a Groupie website. Enjoy!

First up Andre 3000.

How did you meet?
I met him at a promo tour before Stankonia dropped. I particularly stood out in the crowd because of something I was doing. Everyone benefitted from that one at the time. I earned a nick-name behind it, and me my girls laugh about it from this day on. Anyways, after the concert we found out where Outkast and everyone was staying, so we headed there. On the elevator, we met a band member, told him we wanted to meet 'Kast and he took us right up. Once we got to the room, there were some local radio DJ's hanging out, asking questions, and everyone was just chilling. Me and my girls stole the shine, took photos, chopped it up about the ATL, asked Big Boi (he was in his room with a headache) and we had to ask Dre who was his stylist (this was when he was in his weird-dressing phase). This sudden silence fell in the room and I looked at Dre and said "I'm ready to go, it's getting late". So me and my girls stood up, he he stood up and we parted ways-feel sorry for the DJ's who got left in the mix with the manager and the other GDI's (lol).

How was Andre in bed?
Dude is really gentle, he's an easy lover. You can tell he's not into fucking, but making love. I gave him a massage, admired his tattoo of the man, woman and child on his back, as well the 7 and star on his chest and the possum on his arm, played with his hair watched Mobb Deep performing on some late night show. He made me take off this crayola colored wig I had on (I was a weird dresser myself), and admired all the hair I had underneath it. He's a toe sucker and a FIRE-ASS pussy licker! Andre is hung, and he knows it. He wears tight whites, too (so cute). So if you see a bulge in his pants, it's real, it's really real!! As for his technique, he's very easy going. I kind of expected some freaky-deaky voo-doo feather fanning incense burning 'Ommmmmm' sex- but no. He's like a boyfriend, he gives you what you want, gets what he wants, he's verbal, but not vulgar. He's just a grown man about it all. He's one of the ones you'd let spend the night. He's one of the ones you JUST MIGHT get up and cook some breakfast for :-)
After leaving, my homegirls said that the band said Dre never gets down with 'groupies'. They kept asking if I modeled and said that I was real fly. Oh yeah, and he walked me out - damn, I should have stayed the night, but I was the Designated Driver, and still an all around 'Good Girl'. That was the wildest thing I've ever done.

Do I consider myself a groupie?
LOL - no. At the time I was just a hard-core Outkast fan, and loved me some Dre!

Would you do it again?
Not now, because I'm married. But if I were a single woman, even at my age, if I caught up with him at another show, I'd give it up with no questions asked!

Awww! That was sweet. Now a little shit to go with your sugar. The next report exposes Jim Jones, who's newly released cd is not exactly flying off the shelves.

Last year memorial day weekend, me and a few of my girls went down to Miami. One of the nights we ended up at Sobe live right on South Beach. That same night Jim Jones, Santana and the rest of their crew came there to perform and spent a lil while in V.I.P. So as we were sitting there we notice that Jimmy and his friends didn't buy out the bar like they say they do, but instead popped one bottle of champagne (NOT BALLING). Anyway, towards the end of the night his security approached me and asked for my number so I gave him my number. Around 4:3o in the morning I get a call from the security guard telling me to ditch my friends and come to the Palm hotel cause Jimmy wanted to see me. So being the thirst that I was (lol) I left my friends back at the motel and headed to the hotel to see Jimmy. So once I got there I called back his security for the room number then went upstairs. Once I got their he started treat me like a smut and told me to "wash up and get back in the bed with nothing on" so I did. Once I got on the bed, I began to kiss him, but he pushed my face away and lowered my head down to his private part, which I didn't mind cause it was an okay size (decent). So now I'm giving him head and then he stops me to put a rubber on and then after 30 seconds or so he nuts. What a loser. Then he tells me "I gotta go now, cause he got shit to do". So I got dresses and the next thing you know he throws $10 at me and says "For your troubles, here's some cab money". SMH he's such a bum loser, he really isn't balling or packing. Guess I was a groupie for a night, but I wouldn't do it again.
This dude is the epitome of a chauvinistic pig. I got a tip a couple of weeks back about another groupie who he did dirty. He had that poor girl sucking his dick forever til he busted a nut, just because he could. And wouldn't even give the ol' girl tickets to his concert.