**Pre-Marital SEX**!!!Yeah Right!!!Angela is the biggest "KNOWN" hoe in Saddle River I mean its obvious the way she's dick hopping!!! And Vanessa is a WELL KNOWN DRUNK!!!
Umm Paula, why the hell am I hating on some chick I don't even know. I hate when people make asinine comments because they have nothing else better to say.
Angela sounds like an airheadin the begnning(smart/intelligent means the same thing). A true virgin doesn't date/court unless it leads to marriage. Also she keeps her hands,mouth, etc. to herself(no blow jobs, hand jobs,etc.) Also virginity doesn't make a successful marriage, so hopefully she finds a religious husband, because she'll have trouble with a carnal man. Being abstinent is better than a ho anyday.
COPS SHOT THIS 22 YEAR OLD DAD FOR NUTHIN IF FRON OF HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE READ: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/01/07/MNOV154P0R.DTL&feed=rss.bayarea
"I DO IT FOR THE ONE'S WITH CRACK ADDICTED MOTHERS, AND NIGS WIT R.I.P. TATTOOS OF THEY BROTHER" - J-STALIN
I am proud of her. IF mor e of us woudl have done this, there would be fewer fatherleess babies, and fewer STD infected teens. Yes this included AIDS and HIV.
This shit made 4 TV, man. I aint trippin' on her, I just think it's made 4 TV. Actors without a written script. If she meet da right nigga, them toes will be danglin' over his shouldas, man.
I can definitely respect women that feel this way, but personally I can't fuck with dat philosophy. Sexual compatibility is one of the BIGGEST FOUNDATIONS of successful marraige, so it's a big risk (in my opinion) when you go into it without knowing anything about your partner sexually. It'a be real fucked up to marry a girl and find out dat she is just not sexual at all, or is just one of dem females dat you can't get on da same page with. On da flip, you'll fuck round and marry a nigga dat has no idea how to please you, even with coaching, or doesn't have any interest in pleasin' you, even when you tell him you need him.
I aint sayin' you gotta give da nigga all da milk for free, but give a nigga a taste so both ya'll can rest assured.
I feel like people put too much of a premium on pre-marital abstinence and cohabitation, cuz when you come down to it, sex and finances are usually at or near the source of failed marriages. I aint sayin' let every nigga hit, but if it's a dude/female dat you have given your heart to and feel like you wanna marry, why not at least sample?
notice how it's always the men that have somethin negative to say about abstinence, etc.,? i guess it would be too much like right to actually want to base a relationship on something of more substance than just "toe dangling sex"
ANY man that will marry a woman W/O having sex before deciding to get married IS A FOOL...
PLAIN and SIMPLE
I APPLAUD any young woman for NOT FALLING to the pressure of having sex before THEY choose to ON THEIR OWN
But waiting to have sex for the SOLE PURPOSE of getting/being married DOES NOT assure a Good or Great or Successful marriage IN THE LEAST... I'm talking about REAL-LIFE not Fantasy-land or Romance-Novels type SHIT !!! ;-)
2:20 - And notice how it's always women dat read or listen to half da shit a nigga say and wanna take half da conversation and treat it as da niggas entire opinion. I see you too, booboo. If you read the ENTIRE post and didn't pick only da shit dat applied to your response, you'll see dat I didn't just flame on abstinence and dat it was about more than just "toe-dangling" sex, but whateva. Of course a relationship is based off more than just sex but you left 3rd eye out when you read da post, so you're prob'ly just anotha female dat moves around with a predetermined idea of what men are all about and askin' you to consider a man's viewpoint with any objectivity is a lost cause.
for me personally, no sex for marriage is absolutely silly. if u can do it...go 'head. the thing is, we women have a sex drive too. and to me, sex is a really big part of a relationship. i couldn't marry a man that i am not compatible with...emotionally or sexually. and alot of the time for women, those are connected.
women be killing me holding out on sex...for what? u depriving urself. and eventually he gone leave. then who wins? ur horny and he gone. we all have sexual needs. no it is not as crucial as eating or sleeping, but it is still very damn important.
Damn shole right that sex is very important in a relationship. I dated a guy for six months and the sex was wack, I thought he was somebody I could see myself marrying. It was that 15% (wack sex) that made me dump him.
So like many others have said, if you know that you wanna wait til marriage, then do that but dont psyche yourself up thinking its going to be whats up during the honeymoon and you find out that it aint about shit.
V.Loen, I was thinking the same thing. If she is sexually active, Rev Run would have a fit. Some girls act as if they are virgins when they know damn well they have been around the block 3x and counting.
I love Elove's comment! Quesha, that is the truth and nothing but the truth.
Let her do what she feels she needs to do for with her body.
When people have orgies with cats and dogs nobody says anything, but when someone wants to remain a virgin or is celibate-folks flip out. I don't get it.
How come you don't hear about the brother being a virgin? I would like to know. I waited till I was a senior in college before I had sex. It is such hype on a maintaining virginity. if i waited for the right guy to lose my virginity I would still be one and I am pushing 40 years old.
How come you don't hear about the brother being a virgin? I would like to know. I waited till I was a senior in college before I had sex. It is such hype on a maintaining virginity. if i waited for the right guy to lose my virginity I would still be one and I am pushing 40 years old.
if Angela is really telling the truth about her values and is really doing her and being true to herself, then that is wonderful and I pray she will be blessed for the stand she has taken.
On the other hand, as a Christian my ex, yes ex-husband and I didn't completely wait but we somewhat waited until marriage to have sex and guess what...
there is no magical formula to establishing a great marriage, it ain't in premarital celibacy
to great marriages for us all someday..whatever the path may be, make sure it's someone you're in sync with about values and you really love each other and are committed to work together come what may!
^^^You are right, there is no 'magical formula' to establishing a great marriage, but the Bible does set the standard. It says to let the marriage bed be without defilement (Hebrews 13:4), and it also says to abstain from fornication (1Thessalonians 4:3). Marriage is an arrangement that was instituted by God, and as such is sacred. When couples that are serious about marriage look to the Bible and rely on their relationship with God and each other instead of being in marriage for purely selfish reasons, then the marriages tend to turn out better. If Angela is telling the truth, then I applaud her and wish her the best. It's sad that so many that have posted would be so negative of her stand, and indicative of why people who do engage in premarital sex end up with trust issues with potential partners.
Good for her. She's an attractive girl. If she wants to wait, that's her business. There are a lot of talented male actors out there who may not have won an Oscar but are not sincere when it comes to love and relationships. So guard your virginity girl. Usually the fake ones show their real colors in time (2 weeks, 3 months, 6 months, a year, two years....it varies) so make them wait. If they really want you and respect you, they can wait. Warning: it is very unlikely that you will meet a man with that much patience in the club or at a bar. Beware of 24 hour "christians" who go to church on Sunday (or Saturday) and then are living the most evil and foul lives the remainder of the week. Some men (and women) go to church mainly to meet other people that they want to be intimate with.
Don't be naive. Trust your instincts. Meet in public places.
You can do other things besides sex to "get off": kissing (pecks, French), holding hands, walking on the beach, having picnics in the park, talking (get inside his/her head....a wise person knows that intelligence is so sexy), hugging, touching in selective places/spots(hair, scalp, ear lobes)and so on.
4:46, knows better than anyone who has not been married before. My point is that if she is not a virgin and acting innocent for her father, that is b/s. She knows damn well this will air. Remember that song by Nikki D, "Daddy's Little Girl?"
I'm a 18 year-old female college student who is still a virgin and chosen to wait till marriage. I know they say it doesn't guarantee a good marriage but still I don't feel the need to give myself to guy just because he says he loves me. I was taught to respect my body and myself. Also all these things about STDs and unwanted pregnancy why go threw all the hassle when I can just keep my legs closed and wait for the one who wants to make me his wife.
1. Yes, there are scandalous men (and women) everywhere (including the clubs and churches) but there are still good people out there (few and far between). But don't judge a book by it's cover; take a good look at its contents. Actions speak louder than words and promises are a comfort to a fool.
2. Yes, don't get "caught alone" or you could be seduced or worse.....raped if you don't give in.
3. Since when is kissing, hugging and talking considered "teasing"? These are just some ways of showing that you are into someone by being affectionate with them and listening to and communicating with them. It is possible to be creative instead of being so quick to rush into premature sex. Sure, abstaining from or delaying sex isn't easy, but the best things in life don't usually come easy. It's easy to be easy.
"I know they say it doesn't guarantee a good marriage but still I don't feel the need to give myself to guy just because he says he loves me. I was taught to respect my body and myself."
just because you have sex doesn't mean that u r giving urself away. we women are allowed sexual satisfaction as well as men. and just because others do have sex before marriage, doesn't mean that we respect our body's any less.
obviously waiting is good if u r not ready. and i am sure that u r happy. everybody should be happy with their decisions. i, personally think sex is awesome and still respect myself and my body.
Since when does having sex equals not respecting yourself? I think the only time a person should feel less respect for themselves is when they are sleeping with every tom, dick and harry (sally, jane and sue) in town.
I've been with the same guy for 5 1/2 years and we have sex every damn day (yes he was my first) and I have never once thought any less of myself because of doing so.
If a person wants to wait, then thats their perogative and they should be content. Dont be swayed by what people say. Everyone has an opinion about every situation.
@Qunesha:I respect myself because I don't sleep with everybody. I'm not into one-night stands or sexual relationships. I don't see why I have to be sleeping with a man just to show I'm "liberated". But if you just do it for the enjoyment that's fine but I need to have connection and bond first which is why I'm waiting till marriage.
Look at these comments. And people be wondering why the Aids rate is so high and there are so many black children born out of wedlock. SMDH! And ya'll wonder why these young folk be so wild. You finally got a girl who said she wants to wait on her husband and look how you act. You be sleeping with someone for years and wonder why you have no ring. Man don't have to wife it if he's getting what he wants for free.
Anon, you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. I love how sexually active posters feel the need to justify themselves. I wouldn't marry a girl without testing...but you haven't married any of the women you've had sex with have you? Or saying that its only disrespectful if you sleeping with lots of people...but you're not married to the guy you've been sleeping with five years. I'm not dogging your personal choices just amazed at they way you are denegrating hers. Saving yourself for marriage isn't about a magic formula or preventing STD's. Its about making a PERSONAL choice to share something exclusively with the person you've made a formal commitment with. In fact, I think its especially important in this day in age when there's no social stigma attached to premarital sex. Not all women are the same...so you can't practice on 10 or 200 women and learn what pleases your spouse. That being the case, there's no reason not to wait and focus on the other parts of your relationship because you're still going to have to learn the sex stuff together regardless. True sexual fulfillment is a direct result of true intimacy. If my husband is truly committed to me and our relationship...there's nothing he shouldn't be willing to fulfill me sexually and because of that commitment I should be free to share myself with fear...so I have a hard time believing things won't be working out. As for Angela, I understand what its like to care for someone and be attracted to that person and for them to not respect your desire to be celibate...in the end if he really wants to be with you he will wait gladly with a smile or drag you to Vegas LOL Obviously by the way she said FAITHFUL it sounds like she gets cheated on alot...I say better to find out now than down the road when you've got kids.
"@Qunesha:I respect myself because I don't sleep with everybody. I'm not into one-night stands or sexual relationships. I don't see why I have to be sleeping with a man just to show I'm "liberated". But if you just do it for the enjoyment that's fine but I need to have connection and bond first which is why I'm waiting till marriage."
I am not knocking or hating on ur decisions. erry-body has personal choice. i was making the point that just becuz i choose to have sex, doesn't necessarily mean that i lack self respect.
sex is a big deal to folks. it gets a lot of comments on this board. but right or wrong ppl are allowed their opinions.
Look at these comments. And people be wondering why the Aids rate is so high and there are so many black children born out of wedlock. SMDH! And ya'll wonder why these young folk be so wild. You finally got a girl who said she wants to wait on her husband and look how you act. You be sleeping with someone for years and wonder why you have no ring. Man don't have to wife it if he's getting what he wants for free."
having sex is not about giving something away. u r sharing. if y'all keep looking at sex as giving to a man or a man taking from u...u disregard ur own needs.
ignorance and lack of parenting to me is what leads to teenage pregnancy and out of wedlock kids and STDs.
Since when does having sex equals not respecting yourself? I think the only time a person should feel less respect for themselves is when they are sleeping with every tom, dick and harry (sally, jane and sue) in town.
_____________________________
because if you respected yourself you wouldn't feel the need to give something so precious to someone other than your husband.
To the commenters who @queshia has responded to...
Y'ALL Sound like FOOLS and I'm not being personal or mean-spirited... I'm BEING very serious and truthful
Y'ALL SOUND LIKE PURE IDIOTS !!!!!
THIS IS a GROWN-FOLKS BOARD... This isn't Bossip or MTO or ANY of those Children-Posting sites
EITHER sit back and LISTEN-n-LEARN something that will truly help you in life and life decisions OR go to those other sites THAT are on your-level
GROWN-FOLKS can see thru BULLSHIT and PURE IGNORANCE... AND don't get it twisted THERE are some Child-minded people WHO happen to be in their 30's (LIKE some of you) that are just as Stupid... U know the Bible-Bumpers WHO know nothing about real-life and real-relationships
I'll END by saying this: WE are sexual-beings First and Foremost AND that fact can't be ignored or Un-Justified... The ONES that choose to KNOW Absolutely NOTHING about LIFE ITSELF !!!
Keep letting books that are full of nonsense LEAD YOUR LIFE and I guarantee you that FOOLS and Foolish-Behavior will run your life (Real Talk)
Oh and to ANYBODY who think their better than me because they've had less sex than me... Having something and not knowing how to use it is USELESS... JUST LIKE not using your MIND-n-Brain Capacity to help better your self, your family & society
Now Quesha, I've disagreed with you on another posting, but I have to say right on with this topic.
I think there is a point when people become mature enough to realize they can have healthy, happy, safe and satisfying sex lives without being married to their partner. It is possible to respect yourself and your mate in the morning (or afternoon or evening!) I don't think anyone here is saying sleep with every man or woman you see or even everyone you are attacted to. @anon 12:10 are you saying all men want from women is sex and it's the woman's job to trick him into marrying her? That is so 1940's. Welcome to the 21's century. People should get married for more reasons than just to have sex with each other. @anon 7:39 when you marry you share you! You don't give yourself up, you share yourself and everything you've become. All the experiences you've had. Yes, it's better not to be an STD-infected whore, but wouldn't it be great to have a fantastic sex life from the very beginning of your marriage?
Bottom life, good for her if she wants to abstain and/or practice celibacy. Celibacy can be good for you at times. It helps you get your head right (no pun intended). Just don't knock those who are choosing to have sex as long as they are responsible about it.
Damn Repent!!! Where you been? Thought you was kidnapped by some satanists or somethin'! Happy 2009! Hey didn't you have some predictions for '08 an '09?
Allot of the posters have mentioned that waiting to have sex after marriage does not ensure a happy/succesful marriage. But neither does having sex BEFORE marriage!!
We are not sexual beings first and foremost. We are spiritual beings first and foremost. Humans have needs that sex alone just cant fufill. The need for food, oxygen, shelter and love. Why the anger in your post? You seem offended by others opinions. Maybe you dont believe whole heartedly what you are preaching? Having sex or not having sex will not ensure happiness. But women need to wise up and learn that society treats us unfairly. Also I dont like being treated like a bag of money to the sex industry (birth control, abortion, std medicines) they really are pushing sex on the public especially 8-12 year olds so they can make more money. Now whether any of the readers choose to have or not have sex make your decisions wisely by using facts not opinions.
Why to virgins and abstainers have to remind everyone else how wonderful and pure they are ?
I could understand if you thought you were actually helping anyone, but most of the time, they work it into every conversation to remind people that they're better than everyone else.
You're not going to change anyone's mind. Just STFU.
I havent had sex in almost 5 years! it was the best thing i ever did for myself. I lose 100 pounds, i graduated from college, and I became an artist. i do have the physical desire to have sex but I have not yet that special person to share my body with. I'm not waiting to have sex until i'm married, i'm just waiting for the right person. before I decided not to have sex I had about two partners that I was sharing myself with, and they gave me nothing back spiritually. I was empty and longing for something that an orgasm could not give me.I don't tell people that I am not active, I just make it clear to the men that I am dating I will not have sex with them unless I feel we have a higher bond. True, most ment leave after a couple of months, and I am glad! they don't deserve me. I don't down people who have sex like Jordan did on national Tv, it's a personal decision that we as adults should respect. Sex is a wonderful physical experience and verry healthy if used correctly. I am currently dateing a man who i finally feel is on my level, and yes we may go there someday!I respect her decision,at least she stands for something.
These comments are stupid. Who says that people who choose not to have sex until marriage are doing it because they think it will make for a great relationship/marriage?? NOT! I am waiting happily and it has nothing to do with how I think my marriage will be because of it, I am waiting because it is a personal choice and because IMO it is right and the way things are supposed to be.
With that said, something disconnected when it came to this relationship because in most cases (at least in mine) when you are upfront with men about your decision not to have sex, they will be honest and tell you that they cannot wait or that the will try to make you change your mind. Maybe its different with different men but its strange (to me) for a woman to tell a man of her decision and for him to be okay with it then come up 3 months later and say you know what, if you won't have sex with me then I'm leaving cuz I can't handle it anymore. Either you're with it or you're not.
I've been in love two times. The first time, he said he would wait for me, waited for two years but I found that the relationship wouldn't work, professionally anyway, we were on two different pages. Currently, I've been in a relationship for about a year and a half with a good man who happened to be celibate and it has worked for us. We are planning to get married next year.
Everyone who says I need to test drive, I gotta have a sample, sex is soooo important sound crazy to me. Sex is important but to say it is the FOUNDATION of a good marriage is ridiculous, it is important but not so important that without it, I would have to leave or stray. When two people love each other, they LEARN and TEACH each other how to bring pleasure to their partner. Marriage is about patience and communication, two things that make sex good, two things that make a relationship good. Without one or the other, one or both will FAIL and THAT is why I am waiting
@Elove:You sound more delusional. If the older generation can do it and remain faith for years and years then we can too. A man who is not a man will cheat regardless you give it up before or after the wedding. Also everybody who talking about a sexless marriage what happens when you guys do it so much before marriage that ya'll get sick of it. That what leads to a sexless marriage. When you get married you have guys begin having sex dumbasses. This is from a woman who waited and has been happily married for ten years while all my other female friends who were sleeping around are still single.
anon 3:15am YOUR statement about the older generation being faithful (Says WHO???)
If YOU believe that then THAT FACT makes you stupid... Your research skills are Very Lacking
AND YOU thinking you are Better than Someone Because YOU are Married...
MAKES YOU A PLUM FOOL-n-IDIOT !!!!!
Your husband IS So Lucky he married A FOOL and the Single-Friends YOU speak So Highly of (I'm being very sarcastic) ARE probably Fucking YOUR Husband SILLY !!! (Real Talk) ;-)
It's one thing to not sleep around. But honestly waiting on Marriage is overrated. Money & sex or the lack of them are in the top 5 reasons marriages fail. Have sex when you're ready. Before or after marriage. BTW. Not living with your spouse before marriage is also a top 10 reason for divorce.
@ELove: You would say that. Typical. My folks been married over 40 years. Father never looked at another woman since he's been with my mother but I guess you think he was probably creeping too right? SMH. I'm not trying to preach on this board but I was raised to wait for marriage. My husband was more than understanding of that. It's not just sex it's when you connect your two bodies to become one being. It's emotional and spiritual along with physical. I'm happy I was able to experience that first time with my husband because he knew he was getting something from me no other man has ever gotten before. Now that's just my personal experience and believe me we do it ever other day. Probably why I done popped out two babies for him.lol Oh and by the one friend who did have sex with her spouse before marriage is now divorce why? He cheated! So don't even try that bull okay. Peace.
so did your husband remain a virgin until marriage? If not then in your line of thinking he shortchanged you by giving away his something precious. I guess you weren't good enough to wait for, huh?
so sick hearing about the God crap...It was made up to keep order in society back in the days.."oh, i dont want to mess up, god will punish me" look at what this world has come to all because of God.. AL quaida is using God as a fuel for war blah blah, we use it to determine whether people can do abortion(its there damn body).. Sex is sex, dogs cats have it..society puts emphasis on these things because its a social issue. Protect yourself, its a pleasure not a burden. God has influenced too much in this world. Have sex live life, cause when you die, you donot know what happens, no one knows. Wouldnt it suck to find out after you die, thats it! you just die! What a wasted life right?? Mariage in itself means nothing, only the right to share income..youre telling me a man(pastor) has the power to bestowe upon you some mortal bond. Oops we are back to the God thing again, God gave the priest the power right? You have got to be kidding me lol. Marriage means finances. Be smart have sex with someone you into, live life and have fun
87 comments:
1st.
premarital sex is the best cause there is no such thing as postmartial sex!
Get back to work and do the videos, programs and order some crack shrimp! Phizzal
She needs to get laid so she can get rid of that attitude...
Morning peoples..
**Pre-Marital SEX**!!!Yeah Right!!!Angela is the biggest "KNOWN" hoe in Saddle River I mean its obvious the way she's dick hopping!!!
And Vanessa is a WELL KNOWN DRUNK!!!
God bless you, Angela -- and ignore the haters!
Wish I had done the same thing.
Saves you so much trouble...
Your Dad above and within has that special man that wants what you have, and He will bring that fella to you in good time.
Keep strong and waiting.
Well Angela, I pride you on that!
Umm Paula, why the hell am I hating on some chick I don't even know. I hate when people make asinine comments because they have nothing else better to say.
I can't see the video but obviously she knew for the start of the relationship that she wasn't going to have sex with him.
Now is she not having sex at all or just not with him is the question?!!!
I'm not one to say wait wait wait...so i'll just say do you Ang. If thats what you believe in, Do you and do it well.
What about a 'Bill Clinton' (as Montel used to say)?
I think that is an extremely good decision.
let me shut my dick sucking self up!
Angela sounds like an airheadin the begnning(smart/intelligent means the same thing). A true virgin doesn't date/court unless it leads to marriage. Also she keeps her hands,mouth, etc. to herself(no blow jobs, hand jobs,etc.) Also virginity doesn't make a successful marriage, so hopefully she finds a religious husband, because she'll have trouble with a carnal man. Being abstinent is better than a ho anyday.
here we go with my stalker!!! and what is wrong with me sucking dicks?
YOU DONT BUY THE CAR BEFORE TEST DRIVING IT
COPS SHOT THIS 22 YEAR OLD DAD FOR NUTHIN IF FRON OF HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE
READ:
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/01/07/MNOV154P0R.DTL&feed=rss.bayarea
"I DO IT FOR THE ONE'S WITH CRACK ADDICTED MOTHERS, AND NIGS WIT R.I.P. TATTOOS OF THEY BROTHER"
- J-STALIN
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vascBlzwYo0
I just love the way that she pulls that for k out of her mouth @ 11secs.
I'm a little shocked that she's a virgin..i heard the reason why she picked so much weight was from bow-wow hittin it! guess it wasn't true...
good for her..i guess vanessa ain't no virgin
she COULD BE lying for television land.
I think I did see her in "Virgins Gone Wild".
Do you Angela! I can't marry a man without seeing the package! that's just me honey! I wont allow a whole bunch of men to screw me either!
she said he dumped her!
^^ it was at the beginning of the show
I am proud of her. IF mor e of us woudl have done this, there would be fewer fatherleess babies, and fewer STD infected teens. Yes this included AIDS and HIV.
This shit made 4 TV, man. I aint trippin' on her, I just think it's made 4 TV. Actors without a written script. If she meet da right nigga, them toes will be danglin' over his shouldas, man.
I can definitely respect women that feel this way, but personally I can't fuck with dat philosophy. Sexual compatibility is one of the BIGGEST FOUNDATIONS of successful marraige, so it's a big risk (in my opinion) when you go into it without knowing anything about your partner sexually. It'a be real fucked up to marry a girl and find out dat she is just not sexual at all, or is just one of dem females dat you can't get on da same page with. On da flip, you'll fuck round and marry a nigga dat has no idea how to please you, even with coaching, or doesn't have any interest in pleasin' you, even when you tell him you need him.
I aint sayin' you gotta give da nigga all da milk for free, but give a nigga a taste so both ya'll can rest assured.
I feel like people put too much of a premium on pre-marital abstinence and cohabitation, cuz when you come down to it, sex and finances are usually at or near the source of failed marriages. I aint sayin' let every nigga hit, but if it's a dude/female dat you have given your heart to and feel like you wanna marry, why not at least sample?
notice how it's always the men that have somethin negative to say about abstinence, etc.,? i guess it would be too much like right to actually want to base a relationship on something of more substance than just "toe dangling sex"
ANY man that will marry a woman W/O having sex before deciding to get married IS A FOOL...
PLAIN and SIMPLE
I APPLAUD any young woman for NOT FALLING to the pressure of having sex before THEY choose to ON THEIR OWN
But waiting to have sex for the SOLE PURPOSE of getting/being married DOES NOT assure a Good or Great or Successful marriage IN THE LEAST... I'm talking about REAL-LIFE not Fantasy-land or Romance-Novels type SHIT !!! ;-)
2:20 - And notice how it's always women dat read or listen to half da shit a nigga say and wanna take half da conversation and treat it as da niggas entire opinion. I see you too, booboo. If you read the ENTIRE post and didn't pick only da shit dat applied to your response, you'll see dat I didn't just flame on abstinence and dat it was about more than just "toe-dangling" sex, but whateva. Of course a relationship is based off more than just sex but you left 3rd eye out when you read da post, so you're prob'ly just anotha female dat moves around with a predetermined idea of what men are all about and askin' you to consider a man's viewpoint with any objectivity is a lost cause.
ELove just broke da shit down to it's simplest form.
for me personally, no sex for marriage is absolutely silly. if u can do it...go 'head. the thing is, we women have a sex drive too. and to me, sex is a really big part of a relationship. i couldn't marry a man that i am not compatible with...emotionally or sexually. and alot of the time for women, those are connected.
women be killing me holding out on sex...for what? u depriving urself. and eventually he gone leave. then who wins? ur horny and he gone. we all have sexual needs. no it is not as crucial as eating or sleeping, but it is still very damn important.
^^^
DAMN !!!
Now IF I can only get you out of those jeans so you CAN start enjoying SOME of this Great SEX I got for you...
The WORLD would be a MUCH Better Place !!! LMAO ;-)
Damn shole right that sex is very important in a relationship. I dated a guy for six months and the sex was wack, I thought he was somebody I could see myself marrying. It was that 15% (wack sex) that made me dump him.
So like many others have said, if you know that you wanna wait til marriage, then do that but dont psyche yourself up thinking its going to be whats up during the honeymoon and you find out that it aint about shit.
V.Loen, I was thinking the same thing. If she is sexually active, Rev Run would have a fit. Some girls act as if they are virgins when they know damn well they have been around the block 3x and counting.
I love Elove's comment! Quesha, that is the truth and nothing but the truth.
Let her do what she feels she needs to do for with her body.
When people have orgies with cats and dogs nobody says anything, but when someone wants to remain a virgin or is celibate-folks flip out. I don't get it.
How come you don't hear about the brother being a virgin? I would like to know. I waited till I was a senior in college before I had sex. It is such hype on a maintaining virginity. if i waited for the right guy to lose my virginity I would still be one and I am pushing 40 years old.
How come you don't hear about the brother being a virgin? I would like to know. I waited till I was a senior in college before I had sex. It is such hype on a maintaining virginity. if i waited for the right guy to lose my virginity I would still be one and I am pushing 40 years old.
co-sign elove 2:37
if Angela is really telling the truth about her values and is really doing her and being true to herself, then that is wonderful and I pray she will be blessed for the stand she has taken.
On the other hand, as a Christian my ex, yes ex-husband and I didn't completely wait but we somewhat waited until marriage to have sex and guess what...
there is no magical formula to establishing a great marriage, it ain't in premarital celibacy
to great marriages for us all someday..whatever the path may be, make sure it's someone you're in sync with about values and you really love each other and are committed to work together come what may!
^^^You are right, there is no 'magical formula' to establishing a great marriage, but the Bible does set the standard. It says to let the marriage bed be without defilement (Hebrews 13:4), and it also says to abstain from fornication (1Thessalonians 4:3). Marriage is an arrangement that was instituted by God, and as such is sacred. When couples that are serious about marriage look to the Bible and rely on their relationship with God and each other instead of being in marriage for purely selfish reasons, then the marriages tend to turn out better. If Angela is telling the truth, then I applaud her and wish her the best. It's sad that so many that have posted would be so negative of her stand, and indicative of why people who do engage in premarital sex end up with trust issues with potential partners.
im wit BeeGee and ELove one hunnid on this one...
relationships aint shit without sexual compatability... but if a girl wanna abstain till we get married, ill play along under one condition-
...she has to be top ten in the country at givin' head.
lol
lmao - and dem toes betta be MORE THAN RIGHT.
Good for her. She's an attractive girl. If she wants to wait, that's her business. There are a lot of talented male actors out there who may not have won an Oscar but are not sincere when it comes to love and relationships. So guard your virginity girl. Usually the fake ones show their real colors in time (2 weeks, 3 months, 6 months, a year, two years....it varies) so make them wait. If they really want you and respect you, they can wait. Warning: it is very unlikely that you will meet a man with that much patience in the club or at a bar. Beware of 24 hour "christians" who go to church on Sunday (or Saturday) and then are living the most evil and foul lives the remainder of the week. Some men (and women) go to church mainly to meet other people that they want to be intimate with.
Don't be naive. Trust your instincts. Meet in public places.
You can do other things besides sex to "get off": kissing (pecks, French), holding hands, walking on the beach, having picnics in the park, talking (get inside his/her head....a wise person knows that intelligence is so sexy), hugging, touching in selective places/spots(hair, scalp, ear lobes)and so on.
4:46, knows better than anyone who has not been married before. My point is that if she is not a virgin and acting innocent for her father, that is b/s. She knows damn well this will air. Remember that song by Nikki D, "Daddy's Little Girl?"
@vizion
I GUESS My standards are a little bit higher My Brutha...
She MUST BE TOP 5 (AND not #5) LMAO ;-)
Vizion - but you are the type who likes to call women hoes for sleeping around. YOu can't have it both ways bro.
She a muff divin dyke...nobody's fooled.
5:42's post translated:
1. Men from all walks of life, from da club to da church are dogs, so beware of them all...
2. Don't get caught alone or he might talk da pussy outta you...
3. TEASE THE SHIT OUTTA HIM endlessly until he asks you to marry before he really wants to because he's tired of you fuckin wit him.
Whateva works, I guess.
If you drop your girl just because the sex ain't good, then you must've never loved her anyway.
I'm a 18 year-old female college student who is still a virgin and chosen to wait till marriage. I know they say it doesn't guarantee a good marriage but still I don't feel the need to give myself to guy just because he says he loves me. I was taught to respect my body and myself. Also all these things about STDs and unwanted pregnancy why go threw all the hassle when I can just keep my legs closed and wait for the one who wants to make me his wife.
DWL @ Bee Gee's 8:00PM comment.
5:42 here and this is my response to you Bee Gee
1. Yes, there are scandalous men (and women) everywhere (including the clubs and churches) but there are still good people out there (few and far between). But don't judge a book by it's cover; take a good look at its contents. Actions speak louder than words and promises are a comfort to a fool.
2. Yes, don't get "caught alone" or you could be seduced or worse.....raped if you don't give in.
3. Since when is kissing, hugging and talking considered "teasing"? These are just some ways of showing that you are into someone by being affectionate with them and listening to and communicating with them. It is possible to be creative instead of being so quick to rush into premature sex. Sure, abstaining from or delaying sex isn't easy, but the best things in life don't usually come easy. It's easy to be easy.
To the 18 year old college student or 9:06 PM:
Good for you.
BTW it is "go through" and not "go threw"
No disrespect. We all learn from our mistakes. You're welcome.
5:42
@Above: None taken I typed a little fast thanks.
@elove...thanx for the shout. but i recently got boo'd up and for some reason he doesn't like me taking off my jeans for others:) otherwise...
anon 906 says
"I know they say it doesn't guarantee a good marriage but still I don't feel the need to give myself to guy just because he says he loves me. I was taught to respect my body and myself."
just because you have sex doesn't mean that u r giving urself away. we women are allowed sexual satisfaction as well as men. and just because others do have sex before marriage, doesn't mean that we respect our body's any less.
obviously waiting is good if u r not ready. and i am sure that u r happy. everybody should be happy with their decisions. i, personally think sex is awesome and still respect myself and my body.
^^^ I agree with Quesha 100%
Since when does having sex equals not respecting yourself? I think the only time a person should feel less respect for themselves is when they are sleeping with every tom, dick and harry (sally, jane and sue) in town.
I've been with the same guy for 5 1/2 years and we have sex every damn day (yes he was my first) and I have never once thought any less of myself because of doing so.
If a person wants to wait, then thats their perogative and they should be content. Dont be swayed by what people say. Everyone has an opinion about every situation.
Her body...her choice. Good luck with that. She's not exposed to reality anyway.
@ CHIC.... and what do you call women who sleep around?
"sexually liberated" ???
same thing...lol
@quesha
I AM very happy for you Sexxy ...
I truly hope HE makes you Happy and HAVE you smiling from ear-to-ear (I REALLY DO) ;-)
REPENT!!!! THE CHIP IS HERE
^^^^^
AHH HELL
@Qunesha:I respect myself because I don't sleep with everybody. I'm not into one-night stands or sexual relationships. I don't see why I have to be sleeping with a man just to show I'm "liberated". But if you just do it for the enjoyment that's fine but I need to have connection and bond first which is why I'm waiting till marriage.
Look at these comments. And people be wondering why the Aids rate is so high and there are so many black children born out of wedlock. SMDH! And ya'll wonder why these young folk be so wild. You finally got a girl who said she wants to wait on her husband and look how you act. You be sleeping with someone for years and wonder why you have no ring. Man don't have to wife it if he's getting what he wants for free.
Anon,
you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. I love how sexually active posters feel the need to justify themselves. I wouldn't marry a girl without testing...but you haven't married any of the women you've had sex with have you? Or saying that its only disrespectful if you sleeping with lots of people...but you're not married to the guy you've been sleeping with five years. I'm not dogging your personal choices just amazed at they way you are denegrating hers. Saving yourself for marriage isn't about a magic formula or preventing STD's. Its about making a PERSONAL choice to share something exclusively with the person you've made a formal commitment with. In fact, I think its especially important in this day in age when there's no social stigma attached to premarital sex. Not all women are the same...so you can't practice on 10 or 200 women and learn what pleases your spouse. That being the case, there's no reason not to wait and focus on the other parts of your relationship because you're still going to have to learn the sex stuff together regardless. True sexual fulfillment is a direct result of true intimacy. If my husband is truly committed to me and our relationship...there's nothing he shouldn't be willing to fulfill me sexually and because of that commitment I should be free to share myself with fear...so I have a hard time believing things won't be working out. As for Angela, I understand what its like to care for someone and be attracted to that person and for them to not respect your desire to be celibate...in the end if he really wants to be with you he will wait gladly with a smile or drag you to Vegas LOL Obviously by the way she said FAITHFUL it sounds like she gets cheated on alot...I say better to find out now than down the road when you've got kids.
@Anon 1:59AM: It's me thank you.
anon says
"@Qunesha:I respect myself because I don't sleep with everybody. I'm not into one-night stands or sexual relationships. I don't see why I have to be sleeping with a man just to show I'm "liberated". But if you just do it for the enjoyment that's fine but I need to have connection and bond first which is why I'm waiting till marriage."
I am not knocking or hating on ur decisions. erry-body has personal choice. i was making the point that just becuz i choose to have sex, doesn't necessarily mean that i lack self respect.
sex is a big deal to folks. it gets a lot of comments on this board. but right or wrong ppl are allowed their opinions.
anon says
Look at these comments. And people be wondering why the Aids rate is so high and there are so many black children born out of wedlock. SMDH! And ya'll wonder why these young folk be so wild. You finally got a girl who said she wants to wait on her husband and look how you act. You be sleeping with someone for years and wonder why you have no ring. Man don't have to wife it if he's getting what he wants for free."
having sex is not about giving something away. u r sharing. if y'all keep looking at sex as giving to a man or a man taking from u...u disregard ur own needs.
ignorance and lack of parenting to me is what leads to teenage pregnancy and out of wedlock kids and STDs.
@ 1:59
Dayum! Please preach!
Since when does having sex equals not respecting yourself? I think the only time a person should feel less respect for themselves is when they are sleeping with every tom, dick and harry (sally, jane and sue) in town.
_____________________________
because if you respected yourself you wouldn't feel the need to give something so precious to someone other than your husband.
To the commenters who @queshia has responded to...
Y'ALL Sound like FOOLS and I'm not being personal or mean-spirited... I'm BEING very serious and truthful
Y'ALL SOUND LIKE PURE IDIOTS !!!!!
THIS IS a GROWN-FOLKS BOARD...
This isn't Bossip or MTO or ANY of those Children-Posting sites
EITHER sit back and LISTEN-n-LEARN something that will truly help you in life and life decisions OR go to those other sites THAT are on your-level
GROWN-FOLKS can see thru BULLSHIT and PURE IGNORANCE... AND don't get it twisted THERE are some Child-minded people WHO happen to be in their 30's (LIKE some of you) that are just as Stupid... U know the Bible-Bumpers WHO know nothing about real-life and real-relationships
I'll END by saying this:
WE are sexual-beings First and Foremost AND that fact can't be ignored or Un-Justified... The ONES that choose to KNOW Absolutely NOTHING about LIFE ITSELF !!!
Keep letting books that are full of nonsense LEAD YOUR LIFE and I guarantee you that FOOLS and Foolish-Behavior will run your life (Real Talk)
Oh and to ANYBODY who think their better than me because they've had less sex than me... Having something and not knowing how to use it is USELESS... JUST LIKE not using your MIND-n-Brain Capacity to help better your self, your family & society
@quesha
Absolute Beautiful Pic Sexxy !!!!! ;-)
Now Quesha, I've disagreed with you on another posting, but I have to say right on with this topic.
I think there is a point when people become mature enough to realize they can have healthy, happy, safe and satisfying sex lives without being married to their partner. It is possible to respect yourself and your mate in the morning (or afternoon or evening!) I don't think anyone here is saying sleep with every man or woman you see or even everyone you are attacted to.
@anon 12:10 are you saying all men want from women is sex and it's the woman's job to trick him into marrying her? That is so 1940's. Welcome to the 21's century. People should get married for more reasons than just to have sex with each other.
@anon 7:39 when you marry you share you! You don't give yourself up, you share yourself and everything you've become. All the experiences you've had. Yes, it's better not to be an STD-infected whore, but wouldn't it be great to have a fantastic sex life from the very beginning of your marriage?
Bottom life, good for her if she wants to abstain and/or practice celibacy. Celibacy can be good for you at times. It helps you get your head right (no pun intended). Just don't knock those who are choosing to have sex as long as they are responsible about it.
Damn Repent!!! Where you been? Thought you was kidnapped by some satanists or somethin'! Happy 2009! Hey didn't you have some predictions for '08 an '09?
Allot of the posters have mentioned that waiting to have sex after marriage does not ensure a happy/succesful marriage. But neither does having sex BEFORE marriage!!
@ Elove 8:08am
We are not sexual beings first and foremost. We are spiritual beings first and foremost. Humans have needs that sex alone just cant fufill. The need for food, oxygen, shelter and love. Why the anger in your post? You seem offended by others opinions. Maybe you dont believe whole heartedly what you are preaching? Having sex or not having sex will not ensure happiness. But women need to wise up and learn that society treats us unfairly. Also I dont like being treated like a bag of money to the sex industry (birth control, abortion, std medicines) they really are pushing sex on the public especially 8-12 year olds so they can make more money. Now whether any of the readers choose to have or not have sex make your decisions wisely by using facts not opinions.
Why to virgins and abstainers have to remind everyone else how wonderful and pure they are ?
I could understand if you thought you were actually helping anyone, but most of the time, they work it into every conversation to remind people that they're better than everyone else.
You're not going to change anyone's mind. Just STFU.
"We are spiritual beings first and foremost."
Thats bullshit. He is a man and I am a woman and deep in our DNA we are both built solely for procreation.
Sorry, but its true.
I havent had sex in almost 5 years! it was the best thing i ever did for myself. I lose 100 pounds, i graduated from college, and I became an artist. i do have the physical desire to have sex but I have not yet that special person to share my body with. I'm not waiting to have sex until i'm married, i'm just waiting for the right person. before I decided not to have sex I had about two partners that I was sharing myself with, and they gave me nothing back spiritually. I was empty and longing for something that an orgasm could not give me.I don't tell people that I am not active, I just make it clear to the men that I am dating I will not have sex with them unless I feel we have a higher bond. True, most ment leave after a couple of months, and I am glad! they don't deserve me. I don't down people who have sex like Jordan did on national Tv, it's a personal decision that we as adults should respect. Sex is a wonderful physical experience and verry healthy if used correctly. I am currently dateing a man who i finally feel is on my level, and yes we may go there someday!I respect her decision,at least she stands for something.
These comments are stupid. Who says that people who choose not to have sex until marriage are doing it because they think it will make for a great relationship/marriage?? NOT! I am waiting happily and it has nothing to do with how I think my marriage will be because of it, I am waiting because it is a personal choice and because IMO it is right and the way things are supposed to be.
With that said, something disconnected when it came to this relationship because in most cases (at least in mine) when you are upfront with men about your decision not to have sex, they will be honest and tell you that they cannot wait or that the will try to make you change your mind. Maybe its different with different men but its strange (to me) for a woman to tell a man of her decision and for him to be okay with it then come up 3 months later and say you know what, if you won't have sex with me then I'm leaving cuz I can't handle it anymore. Either you're with it or you're not.
I've been in love two times. The first time, he said he would wait for me, waited for two years but I found that the relationship wouldn't work, professionally anyway, we were on two different pages. Currently, I've been in a relationship for about a year and a half with a good man who happened to be celibate and it has worked for us. We are planning to get married next year.
Everyone who says I need to test drive, I gotta have a sample, sex is soooo important sound crazy to me. Sex is important but to say it is the FOUNDATION of a good marriage is ridiculous, it is important but not so important that without it, I would have to leave or stray. When two people love each other, they LEARN and TEACH each other how to bring pleasure to their partner. Marriage is about patience and communication, two things that make sex good, two things that make a relationship good. Without one or the other, one or both will FAIL and THAT is why I am waiting
^^congratulations on your engagement and good luck with your sexless marriage
hmmm.... im doubtful.
It could be all for tv, who knows. could even be to reassure her dad.
so bow wow can date someone platonically, impressive
Sex in a marriage is very important, why do you think so many people get divocred! if it's not the sex it's the money or vice versa
9:37pm
Dr. Phil wants to congratulate you for qualifying for a seat on his show for...
Dumb-AZZ Housewives who husbands left them High-n-Dry for an Undeserving TRAMP that has a VAGINA that knows what to do with it... LMAO
YOU ARE So DELUSIONAL It's Actually REALLY SCARY !!!
@Elove:You sound more delusional. If the older generation can do it and remain faith for years and years then we can too. A man who is not a man will cheat regardless you give it up before or after the wedding. Also everybody who talking about a sexless marriage what happens when you guys do it so much before marriage that ya'll get sick of it. That what leads to a sexless marriage. When you get married you have guys begin having sex dumbasses. This is from a woman who waited and has been happily married for ten years while all my other female friends who were sleeping around are still single.
That's whats up...Im still waiting too =]
1:59 hit it on the nail. The rest need to hang your coats up. Hands down!
anon 3:15am
YOUR statement about the older generation being faithful (Says WHO???)
If YOU believe that then THAT FACT makes you stupid... Your research skills are Very Lacking
AND YOU thinking you are Better than Someone Because YOU are Married...
MAKES YOU A PLUM FOOL-n-IDIOT !!!!!
Your husband IS So Lucky he married A FOOL and the Single-Friends YOU speak So Highly of (I'm being very sarcastic) ARE probably Fucking YOUR Husband SILLY !!! (Real Talk) ;-)
It's one thing to not sleep around. But honestly waiting on Marriage is overrated. Money & sex or the lack of them are in the top 5 reasons marriages fail. Have sex when you're ready. Before or after marriage. BTW. Not living with your spouse before marriage is also a top 10 reason for divorce.
@ELove: You would say that. Typical. My folks been married over 40 years. Father never looked at another woman since he's been with my mother but I guess you think he was probably creeping too right? SMH. I'm not trying to preach on this board but I was raised to wait for marriage. My husband was more than understanding of that. It's not just sex it's when you connect your two bodies to become one being. It's emotional and spiritual along with physical. I'm happy I was able to experience that first time with my husband because he knew he was getting something from me no other man has ever gotten before. Now that's just my personal experience and believe me we do it ever other day. Probably why I done popped out two babies for him.lol Oh and by the one friend who did have sex with her spouse before marriage is now divorce why? He cheated! So don't even try that bull okay. Peace.
so did your husband remain a virgin until marriage? If not then in your line of thinking he shortchanged you by giving away his something precious. I guess you weren't good enough to wait for, huh?
so sick hearing about the God crap...It was made up to keep order in society back in the days.."oh, i dont want to mess up, god will punish me" look at what this world has come to all because of God.. AL quaida is using God as a fuel for war blah blah, we use it to determine whether people can do abortion(its there damn body).. Sex is sex, dogs cats have it..society puts emphasis on these things because its a social issue. Protect yourself, its a pleasure not a burden. God has influenced too much in this world. Have sex live life, cause when you die, you donot know what happens, no one knows. Wouldnt it suck to find out after you die, thats it! you just die! What a wasted life right?? Mariage in itself means nothing, only the right to share income..youre telling me a man(pastor) has the power to bestowe upon you some mortal bond. Oops we are back to the God thing again, God gave the priest the power right? You have got to be kidding me lol. Marriage means finances. Be smart have sex with someone you into, live life and have fun
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